Tears racked a form that lay tormented on the floor. It was a gray, cold, stone floor, surrounded by grey, cold, stone walls with a grey, cold, stone ceiling. These surroundings were not new to her. Strangely they looked incredibly familiar, yet they were colder, darker, and more dead than they had ever felt before. Black iron chains, attached to every part of her frame, securing her to the floor. There was no way for her to get out, she no longer even had the strength to try. It hadn't always been this bad, except that when she thought about it she realized it had never been any better. Angry and helpless she realized she was there of her own accord. She had chosen the pain, the darkness, the loneliness, the chains. Her head throbbed with pain, eyes bloodshot and brimming with tears, and her body was worn and bruised. The iron bands chafed, and her chains cut into her flesh with every attempt at freedom.
"The cost is small," he said, "I will give you a place to stay, things to do and wonderful things to eat. Your mind will be be gratified, and your time will be filled with things that delight you. The only small thing I request is your heart..."
It had been a deal. How? Why? She pounded the floor with her bloody fists. Her stomach twisting with the memory.
She was in a prison, but she had not been taken captive. She had sold herself to the warden. Years ago an evil creature, called Lucifer by some, had shown her the place she now sat. Now it was empty; then it was filled with many sweets and sugary things.
"The cost is small," he said, "I will give you a place to stay, things to do and wonderful things to eat. Your mind will be be gratified, and your time will be filled with things that delight you. The only small thing I request is your heart..."
It had been a deal. How? Why? She pounded the floor with her bloody fists. Her stomach twisting with the memory.
This was her fault. But she had made the deal; her heart eternally for these walls forever. She had no power to escape no grounds for a lawsuit, nothing but eternity in this state before her. She had never protested. As chains had been attached to every part of her, securing her to that floor, she could have stopped it, but she did not. She had never once called said no.
That daily ration of momentary satisfaction had at one point been so gratifying. And that little wretch gave it to her liberally. But every time she ate of it her defenses would be put off, and he would lock her down with more chains. Day after day she devoured the delusional bliss. She noticed her legs being chained, and her arms being tethered, but an addiction had formed for that mental food. One by one her defenses dropped, and one by one every part of her was chained. Her addiction was accumulative. But every time she would finish a serving, the weight of the chains would wear heavier, and so she would flee to the devil's food again for escape. It worked for a while. The cycle of delusional thoughts then pain, and back to the comfort of thoughts wore on until every single one of her defenses was taken out, and every part of her was chained. At that triumphant moment, that little wretch, called the devil rejoiced. He had succeeded. No longer would he give her the pleasure of thoughts, for he could now dictate fully, the body in which he ruled.
The prison was her mind, and held in that mind was her spirit. The prison guard, the devil; those addictions, her thoughts. Her defenses where the pieces of armor of the spirit, and those chains were the emotional, spiritual, and metal ties that chained her to the dark cell.
She sat in a puddle of her own tears. Self pity, leading to self discussed, until even those fleeting thoughts brought stings of pain to her.
Hopeless, right? NO.
When her pain was at it's greatest, and she was in distress long enough to turn from the food of the devil, she could finally hear what was going on around her.
"Child... quiet, my beloved..." It was gentle, it was sweet. A tender rain on a thirsty spirit.
Warm tears trickled down her cheeks, but she couldn't understand why.
"Dear..." She felt a gentle arm wrap warmly around her beaten shoulders.
Her head bowed and she sobbed, and she knew why.
"My child, I Love you...Remember me? I never left you, nor forsook you. Remember me? You used to run up to my embrace every hour of the day! Remember? We used to run together, work together, speak together. You turned your back to me... You thought you were grown up. But I never stopped watching you. Those sobs you thought were echoes of your own, they were my sobs. I have never left your side. I have never left you. I love you."
How could she look to Him? She was chained, she had sold out. The one thing, her heart, that had belonged to him was sold with no refund.
"Dearest, when will you understand? None of this is has to be this way. Even though you gave away your heart I bought it back with mine. You see I paid my life to that man, just so that I could have you back. The deal is closed, but this time it is good deal.
"Long ago I unlocked ever cord that held you to this floor. Darling, I love you. Please come away from this place. Come away with me."
That daily ration of momentary satisfaction had at one point been so gratifying. And that little wretch gave it to her liberally. But every time she ate of it her defenses would be put off, and he would lock her down with more chains. Day after day she devoured the delusional bliss. She noticed her legs being chained, and her arms being tethered, but an addiction had formed for that mental food. One by one her defenses dropped, and one by one every part of her was chained. Her addiction was accumulative. But every time she would finish a serving, the weight of the chains would wear heavier, and so she would flee to the devil's food again for escape. It worked for a while. The cycle of delusional thoughts then pain, and back to the comfort of thoughts wore on until every single one of her defenses was taken out, and every part of her was chained. At that triumphant moment, that little wretch, called the devil rejoiced. He had succeeded. No longer would he give her the pleasure of thoughts, for he could now dictate fully, the body in which he ruled.
The prison was her mind, and held in that mind was her spirit. The prison guard, the devil; those addictions, her thoughts. Her defenses where the pieces of armor of the spirit, and those chains were the emotional, spiritual, and metal ties that chained her to the dark cell.
She sat in a puddle of her own tears. Self pity, leading to self discussed, until even those fleeting thoughts brought stings of pain to her.
Hopeless, right? NO.
When her pain was at it's greatest, and she was in distress long enough to turn from the food of the devil, she could finally hear what was going on around her.
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Warm tears trickled down her cheeks, but she couldn't understand why.
"Dear..." She felt a gentle arm wrap warmly around her beaten shoulders.
Her head bowed and she sobbed, and she knew why.
"My child, I Love you...Remember me? I never left you, nor forsook you. Remember me? You used to run up to my embrace every hour of the day! Remember? We used to run together, work together, speak together. You turned your back to me... You thought you were grown up. But I never stopped watching you. Those sobs you thought were echoes of your own, they were my sobs. I have never left your side. I have never left you. I love you."
How could she look to Him? She was chained, she had sold out. The one thing, her heart, that had belonged to him was sold with no refund.
"Dearest, when will you understand? None of this is has to be this way. Even though you gave away your heart I bought it back with mine. You see I paid my life to that man, just so that I could have you back. The deal is closed, but this time it is good deal."Long ago I unlocked ever cord that held you to this floor. Darling, I love you. Please come away from this place. Come away with me."
Sobbing, she lifted her shaking arms, and immediately he took them, and placed them around his neck, responding with a warm embrace.
I have been a born again believer since I was five years old. I remember the night that I went to my mom in the hallway and told her that I was ready to really turn my life over to Christ. It was a serious commitment for me, and one that I would always remember. Over the years I grew, I matured, I was committed to a walk with the Lord. Those who knew me thought I was a strong Christian, and so did I... Until a number of years ago when I realized that what had started as a small desire had turned into a monster in my life.
But through that brokenness, grief and self hate, came a voice. It was so tender. It was the voice of Truth, it was the voice of Freedom, it was the voice of Jesus Christ. And I answered, through His grace with a warm embrace.
Since then, that Tender calling back to life with Christ has beckoned at my ears more than once. It is a tender call to purity, to love, and to life.
I have heard it many times, and have surely found that the only right way to answer is with a warm embrace.
***
I have been a born again believer since I was five years old. I remember the night that I went to my mom in the hallway and told her that I was ready to really turn my life over to Christ. It was a serious commitment for me, and one that I would always remember. Over the years I grew, I matured, I was committed to a walk with the Lord. Those who knew me thought I was a strong Christian, and so did I... Until a number of years ago when I realized that what had started as a small desire had turned into a monster in my life. But through that brokenness, grief and self hate, came a voice. It was so tender. It was the voice of Truth, it was the voice of Freedom, it was the voice of Jesus Christ. And I answered, through His grace with a warm embrace.
Since then, that Tender calling back to life with Christ has beckoned at my ears more than once. It is a tender call to purity, to love, and to life.
I have heard it many times, and have surely found that the only right way to answer is with a warm embrace.
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